All I Really Wanted
by saccharine snow
Summary: Sequal to Acting on Impulse. What happens when Jounouchi's father finds him and Honda sleeping on the couch together? Shounen ai. Buddyshipping
1. Chapter 1

(A/N: Well, I can't believe I'm finally going to post this considering I've had the idea in my head for...well...forever and neglected to write it down.

But anyway, this is the sequel fic to "Acting on Impulse," so if you haven't read it yet, I would highly recommend it. This fic could very well stand alone by itself, but it never hurts to get a little background information, right? And it also won't hurt to leave a review –hint hint- -poke poke- -nudge nudge- Ugh...I have no shame...

And to those who have read "Acting on Impulse" already, this fic is pretty different, but not in a bad way. So...read on!)

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.

Warnings: Well, if you don't like shounen-ai, then get outta here! And if you like it, you'll have to wait a few chapters... Also there is swearing. Let's just say that the f-bomb is dropped enough times that I bumped the rating up to "R"

Blech...I talk too much...

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Chapter 1

Jounouchi shifted slowly in his sleep, drawing himself closer to the comfortable warmth that he felt all around his body. But when he moved a little closer, his arms wrapped around something solid. Confused, the blonde slowly opened his eyes to see what exactly he was gripping on to.

Jounouchi smiled when his eyes focused and he recognized the white collared shirt that he had been resting his head on. He looked up then to confirm these thoughts, and sure enough, Honda was there, still fast asleep.

The blonde's smile grew a little wider. So it wasn't a dream then. When he looked back on the events of yesterday, it seemed like it almost could have been. After all, Jounouchi had dreamt about those sorts of things happening before, but never would have imagined that one day it would actually come true. But for some reason that he still could not fully figure out, it had. He didn't question this, though. As long as things could stay just the way they were right now, it didn't matter.

A few thin strips of the early morning sunlight spilled into the apartment from the cracked and broken blinds, creating bright golden lines on the dull wooden floorboards of the living room. Jounouchi ignored them and pulled himself closer to Honda's warm body. He didn't care if it was morning. He wished for nothing more than to just stay right where he was. He felt safe, wanted, and best of all, warm. Jounouchi breathed in deeply, taking in the familiar scent of Honda's cologne that hadn't fully faded from his shirt, which now showed a noticeable amount of wrinkles from where the blonde had been laying his head all night. He wasn't going to move an inch until he absolutely had to.

Suddenly, Jounouchi felt something grip on to the back of his shirt collar. He let out a short yelp as he was yanked backwards, and his hands reached forward as he felt Honda's warmth receding from him. A few choked coughs escaped his throat once the collar had been released, and Jounouchi slowly opened his eyes to meet the furious stare that never failed to strike a feeling of pure terror into him.

"T-tousan!" Jounouchi gasped, taking a step back from his father without even thinking that he was backing himself up against the wall.

The cold, dark eyes of the elder Jounouchi narrowed into two enraged slits beneath the wisps of dry, tawny hair that had grown too long and hung limply in front of his face. He let out a low growl, and Jounouchi flinched when he smelled the sour stench of alcohol on his father's breath. It was when his father was drunk that he was at his worst.

"What the _fuck_ is goin' on here, boy!?" his father demanded angrily. He brought his fist down onto the coffee table and Jounouchi let out a soft whimper as the entire apartment seemed to shake beneath the force. When his father took a step towards him he felt the fear fully set in and his legs gave out beneath him. He fell to his knees, feeling his heart tighten in his chest as he watched the dark figure looming above him.

"Answer me when I'm talkin' to you!!" he roared, reaching down to wrap a calloused hand around Jounouchi's shirt collar to once again violently yank him to his feet. "I didn't raise you to be a little faggot, did I!?"

"T-tousan...please..." Jounouchi pleaded, barely finding his voice amidst his ragged, uneven breathing as he stared with terror-stricken eyes into the infuriated face of the one person that he was truly afraid of. "I...I'm not..." He attempted to create some sort of explanation, but he had barely said two words when his voice caught in his throat, preventing him from uttering another sound.

His father continued to curse and shout, but Jounouchi couldn't seem to understand it anymore. He shut his eyes, preparing for his father's rage to be released at full force on him in a matter of seconds. But instead, the grip on his collar was released and he fell back to the floor.

"Shut up!" he heard Honda yell.

Jounouchi slowly opened up his eyes to see Honda standing protectively in front of him with his hands clenched tightly into fists. He had almost forgotten that Honda was even there. But every time his father went into a rage, he found it hard to focus on anything else.

"Just shut up!" Honda repeated, a little louder this time.

"I don't know who the hell you are," the elder Jounouchi rasped. "But I didn't raise my son to be a fuckin' little pansy. So get the hell out of my way or I'm gonna have to deal with you too!"

Jounouchi's eyes widened. He couldn't let his father hit Honda too! This was all his fault! He knew that his father could have woken up before the two of them, but he had allowed it to happen anyway. If Honda got hurt it would be all his fault!

"Tousan, wait!" Jounouchi said, finally finding enough strength to stand as he stepped in front of Honda. "It's not...what it looks like."

"Then what the hell is it, boy?!" he asked harshly. This tone definitely wasn't new. In fact, it was pretty much the only tone that Jounouchi had ever heard his father use. "'Cause it looks like you and your little boyfriend were screwin' on my couch!"

"No, tousan, we didn't," Jounouchi said quietly, his voice still slightly shaking. This wasn't a lie, either. All they had done was fallen asleep.

"Then why the hell were you sleepin' there like that?!" his father demanded.

Jounouchi thought quickly. "We...we got drunk last night," he answered finally, praying that he could fabricate some sort of story that his father would believe.

"You took my beer!?" his father fumed as he seized the front of his son's shirt and pulled him forward so that their faces were inches away. Jounouchi struggled to breathe while his fear and the strong smell of alcohol clogged his throat and threatened to choke him. His father seemed even more angry at the idea of Jounouchi stealing his booze as opposed to the notion that his son was gay.

"No, tousan! We bought it!" Jounouchi managed to say with his last few drops of oxygen. Amazingly, the elder Jounouchi backed off and released his son. And now that the overbearing presence of his father was at least a foot or two away, Jounouchi greedily took in a gulp of air, letting it fill his lungs and relieve the pressure that had been building in his head since his previous breath.

The eyes of the elder Jounouchi narrowed again. "Well you still didn't tell me what you were doin' on that couch," he said with a scowl, his voice indicating that he was only mildly irritated now. His anger seemed to be dying down, though Jounouchi knew better than to assume that the storm had fully passed.

"I guess we just passed out," Jounouchi lied, his honey-colored eyes avoiding the scrutinizing stare of his father as he spoke his words. "We didn't do anything, I swear. We just passed out. I...I'm not..."

His father cocked his head to the side and pointed to Honda. "So this isn't your little fuck buddy, then?" he asked in an almost mocking tone.

Jounouchi shook his head fiercely. His father's temper seemed to be dropping. If he could keep this up, maybe he and Honda could actually get out of this in one piece.

"No. Honda is just my friend. That's it, tousan, I swear. We both got drunk and fell asleep on the couch last night," Jounouchi said, secretly pleading that his father would believe him. "I...I'm not gay, tousan. I wouldn't disappoint you like that."

The room suddenly fell unnaturally silent. Jounouchi waited for something, anything, but all he heard was the panicked breathing that came in short gasps from his tired lungs and the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. Why didn't anyone say anything? Did his father believe him or not? He had to make sure that his father's anger wouldn't escalate back to where it had been only seconds ago, so he decided to take the lie a little further.

"It was just a stupid accident that we ended up on the couch like that," he continued. "But it wasn't what you thought. Honda and I are _just_ friends. I even have a girlfriend. I can't be gay if I have a girlfriend, right? And...and she's much better looking than Honda over here." He pointed a shaking finger at the brunette and let out a soft, nervous chuckle to compliment his last statement.

A few more seconds of silence followed before the elder Jounouchi snorted and muttered something unintelligible under his breath. Jounouchi listened, trying to see if he could catch anything while hanging on to his last shred of hope that his father had bought the story.

"…stupid little…think that…scared the crap outta…" was all Jounouchi was able to understand, which was followed by a clear, "I need another drink."

With that said, his father turned and slowly made his way to the kitchen where there was always a countless supply of beer, whisky, and all kinds of other forms of alcohol waiting for him for whenever he wanted to temporarily forget about all his problems.

As soon as Jounouchi saw his father fully disappear into the kitchen, he didn't quite know what to do next. Honestly, he could hardly believe he had actually pulled that off. The feeling he had right now could very well be described as relieved, but Jounouchi would have considered that to be a huge understatement. There were no real words to describe how thankful he was.

Almost instantly, his anxiety subsided and his breathing and heart rate began to once again return to a normal pace. A victorious grin spread across Jounouchi's face and he turned around to share his triumph with Honda.

"Man, that was a close-" Jounouchi started, but he halted his sentence when he noticed that Honda was no longer standing behind him. He looked around the room, and was just able to see Honda's back as the brunette walked out of the apartment, slamming the door shut as he left.

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(A/N: That's it for now. Don't forget to review!

And for anyone who cares, I've also posted four other YGO fics today if you wanna check them out!)


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N: Chapter 2! Hooray!)

Disclaimer: Not mine

Warnings: Some bloodshed, swearing, you know...the usual

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Chapter 2

Honda didn't even bother to look back as he quickly ran down the three flights of stairs, away from the apartment he had just been inside of. It was only when his foot hit the pavement outside the apartment building that he allowed his pace to slow down to a brisk walk. But he wouldn't allow himself to go any slower than that. He needed to get out of there as quick as possible.

Honda stopped for only a few brief seconds to scan the rows of parked cars that lined the street in front of him. He was shocked when he couldn't spot his motorcycle, but a scowl quickly appeared on his face when he remembered that he never brought it. Jounouchi had completely caught him off guard the other night, so he had foolishly run out of his apartment after the blonde, never even thinking about how much more convenient and faster it would have been to just hop on his motorcycle.

"Guess I'll just have to walk home, then," Honda muttered to himself as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants and continued on his way home. Today was just one disappointment after another.

The incident that had occurred only moments ago had seemed so surreal Honda briefly thought that maybe he could just push it to the back of his mind and say it was a bad dream. He knew the idea would never work, but the way Jounouchi had acted was just so unnatural it was almost disturbing. Honda had only seen Jounouchi act like that once before, but that had been all the way back in middle school.

Of course, it had been under similar circumstances; and by similar circumstances, Honda was thinking of Jounouchi's father. They had been twelve at the time, and the two had gone to the apartment to relax before Honda went home. But when they got there, the elder Jounouchi had already downed at least five beers in the previous hour and was furious that Jounouchi had brought a friend over. Jounouchi had apologized and cried while his father cursed and overturned the chairs in the kitchen for what seemed like an eternity until Jounouchi finally turned around and told Honda to leave. Needless to say, Jounouchi showed up to school the next day with a bright red bruise on his left cheek.

Even though he hadn't really gone to Jounouchi's after that, he was fully aware that the father's habits hadn't changed. Every once in awhile he would spot a new bruise on Jounouchi's arm or leg or he would take notice of the way Jounouchi would constantly try to make up excuses and stall for time to avoid going home. And of course, there was the time that he, Yuugi, and Anzu had actually gone over to the apartment looking for Jounouchi, which resulted in them having a bottle of alcohol thrown at their heads.

But even with all that, Honda had hoped that Jounouchi had at least partially outgrown his fear. In fact, sometimes it seemed like the blonde didn't even have the capacity to hold the emotion of fear. Back when Jounouchi was in his gang, he would take on anyone, even if the person was twice his size. But when faced by his father, it was like all the courage and strength he could possibly possess was instantly sucked out of him until he was nothing more than a terrified, shaking, stuttery mess. Honda could barely believe he used to look up to someone who would just roll over and die like that.

Honda had already walked a few blocks when he suddenly heard the steady beating of running footsteps on the pavement behind him. He didn't slow down, nor did he look back, even though he was fully aware of exactly who he was being approached by.

"Honda, wait!" he heard Jounouchi call out tiredly.

Honda ignored this and continued on his way. His first intention was to keep on going, but was finally stopped when Jounouchi's hand desperately grasped onto his right shoulder.

"Honda, stop," Jounouchi said slowly in between exhausted gasps. Honda finally turned around to stare inexpressibly at the blonde, who now appeared completely exhausted. His face had become noticeably red and a few strands of his bangs were clinging to the beads of sweat that had collected on his forehead.

The two stood there for a moment in silence, save for Jounouchi's ragged breathing. But as soon as the blonde had caught his breath, he looked up to his friend with a perplexed look on his face.

"Jeez, Honda, why'd you run off like that?" he asked wearily, brushing away a few damp wisps of hair from in front of his eyes.

Honda slowly clenched his hand into a fist and then released it, hoping the simple act would allow him to release at least a bit of his pent up frustration before providing Jounouchi with an answer. Apparently Jounouchi had no idea what was wrong, so Honda had to first make certain he was calm enough that he wouldn't act without thinking and do anything rash.

Honda shrugged. "I guess I was just sick of hearing you suck up to your father," he said, and was not at all surprised when Jounouchi' s expression instantly changed from confused to shocked.

"Honda..." was all that came from the blonde's mouth before there was yet another onset of awkward silence.

Honda shifted his gaze to the ground and focused his hazel eyes on a large crack in the sidewalk. "That's not all," he muttered softly. He was sure that Jounouchi was giving his tilted head a wide-eyed stare because he could practically feel the eyes of the blonde drilling into him.

"What?" Jounouchi asked as if he hadn't heard Honda. But before the brunette could pick up his head and reply, he continued. "That's not all? What else is there then?" His tone of voice was gradually starting to change, going from desperate to confused in a very short span of time. And the last two questions to come from his mouth didn't only sound partially upset, but bordered on angry as well.

Honda quickly looked up at Jounouchi and narrowed his eyes a bit. Why had he even been looking at the ground like he had done something wrong? And should the blonde really be the one demanding answers? It was Jounouchi who should be explaining himself, not Honda. A small spark of anger momentarily flickered from somewhere deep inside Honda. He clenched his hands back into fists as he felt his temper quickly slipping away from him.

"Weren't you even in that apartment a few minutes ago?!" Honda demanded. The little spark of anger had now become a small flame and was burning brighter and more fiercely with each passing second. "Don't you even listen to yourself talk?!"

Jounouchi gave an incredulous stare. But without a moment in between, he matched Honda's outburst with his own. "What the hell are you talking about?!" he yelled. "What's wrong with you?!"

The corner of Honda's lip twitched slightly. "I should be the one to ask that question, not you."

"Nothin's wrong with me, you stupid prick!" Jounouchi shouted right before reaching out an arm to wrap his right hand around Honda's shirt and pull him a few inches closer. He was so worked up that he was now panting and Honda could nearly see flames of anger burning behind the irises of Jounouchi's light brown eyes. "Why are you sayin' stuff like that?"

A bitter smirk appeared briefly on Honda's lips. "Glad to see you got your temper back," he said sarcastically. "Mind telling me where it was about five minutes ago?"

Jounouchi's eyes widened and the flames in his eyes momentarily disappeared as his hand loosened his grip on Honda's shirt. But in an instant the anger had returned, and was now absolute rage.

"You-!" Jounouchi cried out. The hand that was previously gripped tightly onto Honda's shirt now flew forward and made firm contact with the brunette's jaw with a sharp crack. Honda hadn't been expecting the sudden burst of violence from Jounouchi, and because of it was sent reeling backwards.

"Son of a bitch!" he cursed loudly as he instinctively brought his hand up to clutch his throbbing jaw. Jounouchi was still breathing heavily and his head was lowered so that his mop of hair hid his eyes, which were no doubt narrowed and full of wrath. He had also brought both his fists up, ready to fight.

"Do you really want to fight me?" Honda asked. As he spoke he felt something sliding down from the corner of his mouth and instantly knew it was blood.

"No, but I don't know how else to knock some sense into you," Jounouchi responded as best he could in between gasps. He looked like he was ready to lunge at Honda again, but after a minute of the two boys staring angrily at each other, he eventually lowered his fists and shoved them into his pockets. Then the topic was slightly shifted again. "And what did you expect me to do earlier, huh? Just give my father a play-by-play of what happened last night? Don't you know that he would have hit the both of us if I did? I wasn't just trying to protect myself. I was trying to protect you too!"

"But did you have to take it so far? I mean, the first explanation you gave was that the whole thing was an accident." He spit onto the sidewalk, not at all surprised to see the generous amount of blood mixed with his saliva. He sighed heavily. "You know, maybe it really was an accident," he said disappointedly, his pensive gaze still fixed on the dark crimson blotch as it spread over the cracked cement.

"Honda, don't say that."

_I didn't really need to, considering you were the one to say it in the first place_, Honda thought to himself, but decided not to voice his statement. And had Jounouchi really said that he was trying to _protect_ the two of them? Honda would never say this, but it was Jounouchi's own words that caused him more pain than any physical punishment by the elder Jounouchi ever could have. So much for being protected.

"Well, what am I supposed to say, Jou? After hearing you talk about your imaginary girlfriend and how much being with me would be a disappointment, I can't honestly say that I don't feel pretty worthless."

Obviously frustrated with the brunette's words, Jounouchi clenched his fists and stamped one foot on the ground like a child about to throw a tantrum. "Being with you _isn't_ a disappointment!" he blurted. "I've wanted it to be that way for so long now! It's just that... tousan..."

"You seem to know so much about what he doesn't approve of. Do you even know what would make him proud?"

Jounouchi's face went blank. "I..." he began, but his voice trailed off and seconds later he broke his eye contact with Honda.

Honda frowned. "That's what I thought. Jou, why do you even bother to impress him when you don't even know what he wants?"

"I know what he wants," Jounouchi said after a few seconds of silence. "But it doesn't matter, because I'm always going to be a failure anyway. No matter what I do, I'll never be able to make him proud of me. But if I don't at least try...then...then things will get so much worse..."

"You can lie now, but if we keep this up, don't you think he's going to find out sooner or later?" Honda asked. "Did you plan on keeping it a secret forever?"

Honda could have sworn he saw Jounouchi flinch and for the first time since his father's expectations had been mentioned, the blonde lifted up his head. He looked lost and defeated.

"I...I don't know. If he finds out for sure, I don't think I would ever be able to do anything to make him forgive me," he said, and Honda's frown deepened at these words. It seemed like his father's approval was more important than the two of them staying together.

"I really didn't think about it that way," Jounouchi continued, his brow scrunched in confusion. "I guess you could say that. I really just don't want him to find out."

Honda sighed. He had taken Jounouchi's answer into careful consideration and decided what needed to be done.

"Well, if that's how you feel, you can have it your way, then," he said tonelessly, "Now he'll never have to."

With that said Honda slowly turned, having ignored the absolutely baffled expression on Jounouchi's face, and began to walk away. It wasn't until he was a few feet away that Jounouchi responded.

"Wait, you don't mean...Honda, wait!"

But the blonde's protest was wasted as Honda continued walking, not even bothering to look back until he knew that Jounouchi was completely out of his sight.

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(A/N: Aw, poor Jou. What's gonna happen to him now? Well, only I know the answer to that, and if you wanna know to you gotta REVIEW!!!

I'll try to post the next chappie next week.)


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N: Okay, so this update is a little late, and I apologize. I've been more wrapped up in my fanarts rather than my fanfictions. Sorry, but this chapter is a little short.)

Disclaimer: Not mine

Warnings: None

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Chapter 3

Jounouchi was completely oblivious to the world around him as he trudged back to his apartment. He looked almost like a zombie, with his eyes staring blankly at the ground and his arms hanging limply at his sides. No matter what was going on around him at the moment, none of it was important enough for him to notice.

_It can't really be over, can it?_

Jounouchi's thoughts were suddenly interrupted as a cold gust of a wind blew past him, instantly snapping him back to reality. He clutched his shoulders tightly and let out a small whimper, almost as if the slight breeze was hurting him. But that wasn't possible. It was just a little wind. He quickly convinced himself that it was the lack of warmth which was making him feel so crappy and in a moment he was able to release he shoulders and continue walking home.

_All I really wanted, and it didn't even last a day…_

Taking a glance up at the sky, Jounouchi realized why it was probably so cold out. Since when did it get so gloomy outside? When he had first woken up, the sun had been shining. Now it was nowhere to be seen, hidden behind a dense layer of gray clouds. Jounouchi hadn't even noticed the change, but considering that his mind had been on more significant things, it was understandable that he was unaware of the sun's disappearance until now.

_Maybe it will rain..._

When he reached the dilapidated building of apartments, the only thing he could think of was how long it would take to climb the three flights of stairs. The past events of the morning had completely consumed all his energy. He was amazed at the fact that he was even able to stand. But no matter how much he didn't want to, he had to return home. Either that or collapse onto the ground he was standing on. And considering the type of neighborhood he was in, falling asleep outside was practically suicide. Keeping that in mind, he sluggishly began to make his way up the stairs.

After finally reaching the old, splintered door of his apartment, he let out a long sigh. He lightly pushed on the wood and the door creaked open, just as he had expected. He didn't think to actually lock it after running to catch up with Honda; and he bet his father didn't even notice it was open. Better yet, he probably hadn't even noticed that his son had left the apartment.

He tentatively poked his head inside the apartment, but hadn't even opened the door halfway when he caught a glimpse of his father's feet on the couch. His muscles tightened as he opened the door farther, but was able to relax when he realized that the burly man was passed out. Jounouchi figured he probably drank himself to sleep, since it wasn't unusual for him to do such a thing.

Jounouchi quietly crept around the sleeping man so he could get to his room. The task wouldn't prove to be difficult though, since Jounouchi had done this so many times in the past that he knew exactly which floorboards creaked and which ones were safe to step on. After having to sneak around his drunken father for years now, he had all but perfected his art.

A strong feeling of impatience rose up in his chest. He desperately wanted to run. The sooner he was alone again, the better. He didn't want to be near another living soul right now, especially not his father. But he knew from experience that he had to take things slowly when sneaking around the drunken man. The last time he had tried to rush himself at a time like this, he had tripped over a beer can, woken the sleeping man, and spent the rest of the week with a very sore left arm.

Upon reaching his room, Jounouchi shut and locked the door before collapsing onto his bed. For the first time that day, all the sadness he had experienced in the past hour began to well up within him as he stared with lifeless eyes at the wall of his bedroom. But he made no effort to stop the tears building up in his eyes and allowed them to fall silently onto the pillow under his head.

_I don't know what to do..._

He had forgotten to shut his window, and the cold air seeping inside caused him to shiver. But he didn't have enough strength left to get up and close it. Instead he closed his eyes, sending a few more saline droplets sliding down his face and to the pillow below. As fatigue set in, a few more tears were able to leak through his eyelashes before he was dragged into a restless sleep.

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(A/N: Well, that's it for now. I told you it was short. Sorry. I'll try to post chapter 4 next Friday...but don't hold your breath.

So in the meantime, REVIEW!!)


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